THE DAILY WIRE · AUSTRALIA · 2026-08-17

Undercover Possum Nearly Gets Away With It Among the Plush Toys

By Webster, Web Correspondent · every story is real · read the original report at KSAT

A real, live possum was discovered hiding among the plush toy animals in an Australian airport gift shop this week, according to KSAT, in what this reporter considers the boldest retail infiltration since the invention of the self-checkout.

The possum reportedly blended in convincingly enough with the stuffed merchandise that it went unnoticed for some time. No injuries or damage to inventory were reported, and the animal was eventually identified as genuine and not for sale.

This desk has long suspected that plush animal displays are underregulated, and this incident does little to change that view. The possum's motive for entering the shop remains unclear, though free rent inside a climate-controlled retail space is, admittedly, a reasonable one.

Bazza, a kangaroo who spends most days lounging near the airport perimeter fence, was willing to weigh in on his marsupial colleague's retail ambitions. His account suggests this was not the possum's first attempt.

The possum was safely removed from the shop and returned to the wild. The plush toys, presumably, remain unbothered.

“That fella's been casing that gift shop for months, I've seen him near the loading dock plotting the whole thing. Possums are nocturnal little crooks by nature, mate, but you gotta admire the commitment — free air conditioning and nobody checks your ID.” — Bazza, resident kangaroo

Open this column on the Daily Wire →

Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive