THE DAILY WIRE · VIRGINIA · 2026-08-24
Last Call: Virginia's Most Famous Raccoon Gets a Drink Menu
A raccoon that briefly became a viral sensation for appearing visibly intoxicated has now received the rarest of civic honors: a cocktail named after it. Virginia bars have begun rolling out themed drink recipes celebrating the animal now unofficially dubbed the state's new party animal.
According to WTOP, the honor follows the raccoon's viral moment, in which footage of its wobbly public appearance spread widely enough to earn it folk-hero status. Establishments have since responded the way any self-respecting hospitality industry would: by monetizing it into a menu item.
This reporter has covered proclamations, ribbon-cuttings, and the occasional key to the city, but never before a garnish. That the honoree cannot legally consume the beverage bearing its name, nor comprehend the honor, does not appear to have slowed the branding effort.
For an eyewitness perspective on the raccoon's public conduct, this columnist reached Peaches, a Virginia opossum who claims long-running professional rivalry with the local raccoon population. Their account of the raccoon's night differs sharply from the folk-hero version now being served with a lime wedge.
Whether the raccoon in question receives royalties, a commemorative plaque, or simply continued anonymity in the underbrush remains unclear. This desk will monitor the situation, ideally from a safe and sober distance.
“That raccoon didn't discover day-drinking, he just got caught doing it in public like an amateur. Fermented persimmons will humble anybody, which is why I stick to playing dead until the danger, or the hangover, passes.” — Peaches, Virginia opossum
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