THE DAILY WIRE · COLORADO · 2026-08-24
Wildlife Officials Aim True, Physics Aims Truer
Denver wildlife officers successfully tranquilized a young bear on Saturday, and gravity immediately took over from there, sending the animal on a rough tumble out of its tree that was, unfortunately for its dignity, caught on video.
Per Fox News, wildlife officers administered the tranquilizer as part of a standard removal operation, after which the bear lost its grip and fell from the tree it had been perched in. The footage has since circulated, capturing the tumble in its full, unedited glory.
This columnist has covered his share of wildlife relocations and can confirm this is generally considered an occupational hazard of the job — tranquilizers work on muscles, not on physics. Officers are trained for this exact scenario, which suggests it happens more often than the public realizes.
For informed regional commentary on falling out of trees under duress, this desk consulted Coach Dobbins, a Colorado mule deer with extensive personal experience evading danger at altitude. His analysis of the bear's landing technique was blunt and largely unflattering.
The bear is reported to be fine, if a little worse for wear, and has presumably been relocated somewhere with softer ground. This desk recommends a mattress underneath next time, purely as a professional courtesy.
“Gravity doesn't care how many tranquilizer darts you've had, that's a lesson every animal in these mountains learns eventually. I've taken worse falls off a rock ledge just showing off for the does, and you don't see Fox News covering that.” — Coach Dobbins, Colorado mule deer
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