THE DAILY WIRE · NETHERLANDS · 2026-08-31
Guinea-Pig-Sized Escape Artists Bring Dutch Bird Park to a Standstill
Three Patagonian maras — rabbit-shaped, deer-legged rodents that look like nature couldn't decide on a final design — went over the wall at Avifauna bird park in the Netherlands on Sunday and were back in their enclosure by the time this column went to press.
Video of the escape, per the report, shows the trio loose on park grounds before staff successfully recovered all three. No further details on the method of escape or recapture were provided in the material reviewed.
Webster notes that a bird park hosting a mammalian jailbreak is, technically, off-brand, though he extends professional courtesy to any creature that identifies a gap in perimeter security and takes it.
A local eyewitness, Bram, a heron who maintains a fishing post near the park's pond, claims to have observed the entire incident from a low branch and offered this reporter an account heavy on editorial commentary.
The maras are back where they belong, the fence presumably remains a work in progress, and Avifauna's Sunday just got a little more Patagonian than scheduled.
“Rodents the size of small dogs wandering loose near my fishing pond — I filed a complaint. In my professional opinion as someone who stands very still for a living, they should reinforce that fence, though I do respect any creature with the confidence to just walk out the front.” — Bram, resident heron
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