THE DAILY WIRE · UNITED KINGDOM · 2026-09-03
Local Bat Attempts Backstroke, Gets Rescued Anyway
A pipistrelle bat, an animal engineered by millions of years of evolution specifically to avoid water, was found doing the opposite of that in a river this week, and a passing paddleboarder was obliged to intervene.
According to The Cool Down, the paddleboarder spotted the bat swimming, which is not a typical bat activity, and executed what the outlet describes as an unusual rescue. Full details of the recovery operation are available at the source; this desk can only confirm that a bat went in the water and, thanks to a stranger with a board, came out of it.
Pipistrelles are among the smallest bats in Britain, weighing about as much as a coin, which means the margin for error in a river rescue was not large. Webster notes, with the gravity the situation deserves, that this qualifies as a successful multi-species water rescue with no lifeguard training required on either end.
Reached along the riverbank, Nigel, a fox with long-standing opinions about anyone who ends up in the water uninvited, offered his read on how a flying mammal winds up doing the front crawl. His theory involves poor navigation and possibly a moth.
The bat, presumably drier now, has declined all further comment.
“Bats don't swim, that's the whole point of having wings, but who am I to judge a creature having a bad night. I once fell in a canal chasing a chip wrapper, so we've all got our moments.” — Nigel, local fox
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