THE DAILY WIRE · OHIO, USA · 2026-09-03
Bones, a Trap, and No Comment From Local Wildlife
Residents near a busy apartment complex in Seville, Ohio, are dealing with what local officials are diplomatically calling 'an unusual situation' after animal bones turned up inside a trap on the property.
Details remain limited, per cleveland.com's reporting, though the phrase 'unusual situation' is doing a great deal of work here and this desk respects the restraint. What species the bones belonged to, who set the trap, and what exactly was expected to happen have not been made public.
Webster has covered enough backyard mysteries to know that 'unusual situation' is local-government shorthand for 'we also do not have an explanation and would prefer not to speculate on the record.' This publication has no such restraint.
Seeking a resident's perspective, this desk tracked down Deacon Willie, a raccoon of considerable neighborhood tenure who lives within scavenging distance of the complex in question. His theory of the case does not exonerate raccoons, but it does spread the blame around liberally.
The trap has presumably been removed. The mystery, less so.
“I ain't saying who left them bones, but I am saying whoever it was, they cleaned that plate better than my in-laws at Thanksgiving. Humans set the trap, something ate the bait, and now everybody's acting surprised there's a food chain.” — Deacon Willie, local raccoon
Open this column on the Daily Wire →
Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive