THE DAILY WIRE · TEXAS · 2026-09-05
FedEx Office Becomes Unwitting Way Station for 191 Reptiles
A North Texas FedEx office found itself the temporary custodian of 191 turtles and tortoises this week, discovered inside what officials are calling an unusual shipment. This columnist has seen a lot of packages misdelivered in his time, but rarely at this volume, and never with a heartbeat.
The find was substantial enough to draw formal reporting, with the animals apparently packed together in a single shipment rather than shipped individually, raising the obvious question of intent that this reporter will leave to investigators and lawyers rather than speculate on here.
What can be stated plainly is that 191 is not a number one arrives at by accident. Whether this was a wildlife trafficking matter or the world's most ambitious pet delivery, the sheer logistics involved deserve some grudging respect alongside the concern.
Seeking a local perspective on unauthorized reptile transport, this reporter located Big Earl, a roadside armadillo with firsthand knowledge of Texas transit hazards. His take on traveling en masse in a box was informed, if unsympathetic.
The turtles' ultimate disposition was not detailed in initial reporting, but this columnist assumes it involves considerably more legroom than they'd grown accustomed to.
“191 turtles in one box is what we in Texas call an overachiever's carpool. I once tried to hitch a ride in a cooler and the fella just screamed and dropped me on the highway, so honestly, those turtles got off easy.” — Big Earl, roadside armadillo
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