THE DAILY WIRE · COLORADO, USA · 2026-09-07
Colorado Bear Adds Arson to Its Rap Sheet, Sort Of
A bear broke into a Colorado home this week and, in the course of its uninvited visit, started a fire in the kitchen, turning a simple burglary into a minor structural incident.
Per UPI's reporting, the bear entered the residence and the ensuing chaos resulted in flames breaking out in the kitchen area. Details on exactly what ignited remain sparse, though this columnist suspects the phrase 'left the stove unattended' will feature prominently once someone files the actual incident report.
Bears are opportunists, not arsonists. There is, to Webster's knowledge, no criminal intent statute written for wildlife. Still, one has to admire the audacity of an animal that breaks in for snacks and leaves having also renovated.
Big Sherman, a local elk who grazes near the property line, was willing to offer his take on the neighborhood's newest troublemaker, ending with a pointed remark about human negligence around open flame.
No injuries were reported. The kitchen, presumably, has seen better days.
“That bear didn't mean to start no fire, he just don't know how a stove works, none of us do. Elk have been avoiding kitchens for ten thousand years and we've never burned a single house down, just saying.” — Big Sherman, local elk
Open this column on the Daily Wire →
Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive