THE DAILY WIRE · NEW YORK, USA · 2026-09-14
The Emu Also Rises
An emu at a New York petting zoo made a break for it this week, achieving, however briefly, the kind of freedom most residents of this city can only dream of on the L train.
According to reports, the bird escaped its enclosure and was later safely recaptured, its taste of the outside world cut short by staff and, one assumes, several confused onlookers. The petting zoo has not disclosed the finer points of the breach.
This is not the first flightless bird to test the limits of captivity, but it is the first one this desk has covered that did so within city limits, which raises the stakes considerably in terms of foot traffic.
Reggie, a raccoon who patrols the neighborhood with the confidence of a man who has never once paid for parking, offered his professional assessment of the escape.
The emu is back behind its fence, the petting zoo's security presumably reviewed, and the birds inside it no doubt discussing the incident amongst themselves in hushed, admiring tones.
Spun and done.
“That bird's got more street sense than half the tourists in Times Square, honestly. I've broken into three dumpsters and a bodega this week alone and nobody's put my face on the news — emus can hit 30 miles an hour, so really the zoo's lucky it wasn't gone for good.” — Reggie, Queens raccoon
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