THE DAILY WIRE · COLORADO · 2026-09-17
Colorado Bear Adds Arson To Its Burglary Charges, Sort Of
A bear broke into a Colorado home this week and, in an apparent bid to really commit to the burglary, left the place with the kitchen on fire.
According to the report, the animal forced entry into the residence and a fire subsequently broke out in the kitchen, an outcome that elevates the incident well past the standard trash-can and gear-bag thefts this beat usually covers.
Webster notes that most home invasions end with property missing; this one ends with property actively burning, which suggests the bear either found the stove or simply has main character energy.
For a resident's perspective on the incident, Webster consulted Big Dutch, an elk who grazes near the property line and takes a dim view of bear behavior generally. His assessment of the bear's culinary instincts follows.
No injuries were reported, and the kitchen fire was contained. Spun and done.
“An elk would never touch a stove, we don't even like the smell of toast. Lock your doors, folks — bears are not known for their fire safety certifications.” — Big Dutch, area elk
Open this column on the Daily Wire →
Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive