THE DAILY WIRE · MISSISSIPPI · 2026-09-20
The Battle of the Bayou: Notes on a 700-Pound Alligator
Hunters in Mississippi landed an alligator weighing nearly 700 pounds after a fight described as lasting hours, a feat this columnist considers roughly equivalent to negotiating a labor dispute with a filing cabinet that bites. The size of the animal alone makes this a notable entry in the state's ongoing relationship with its apex reptiles.
According to the report, the capture required a sustained, multi-hour effort, the kind of detail that suggests this was less a quick catch and more a full workday. The alligator's near-700-pound weight puts it firmly in the category of animal that makes local news simply by existing.
This publication has tracked a steady stream of oversized alligator stories from the Gulf region this year, and each one raises the same question this columnist refuses to stop asking: how many more of these are out there quietly aging into local legend. Mississippi, apparently, has at least one fewer as of this week.
Seeking perspective from someone who actually shares the water with the animal, Webster spoke with Cletus, a longtime catfish resident of the same waterway, who described years of coexistence with the now-captured alligator. His account offers a rare tenant's-eye view of the neighborhood.
The hunters, per the report, needed hours to bring the animal in, a timeline Webster finds entirely believable and mildly heroic. Spun and done.
“I've lived at the bottom of that hole for years and I can tell you that gator's been the neighborhood landlord the whole time, nobody messes with his territory without a permit and a prayer. Took hours to bring him in, which sounds about right, that fella doesn't negotiate quick and neither do I.” — Cletus, Mississippi catfish
Open this column on the Daily Wire →
Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive