THE DAILY WIRE · SOUTH CAROLINA · 2026-09-22
Greenville Zoo's Escape Ledger Gets Its Own Highlight Reel
Greenville Zoo's escape history is apparently long enough to warrant a highlight reel, and a new roundup this week catalogs it like a rap sheet, cataloging various animals who have tested the property line over the years.
Per the report, the piece runs down a series of animals that have gotten loose at the facility, joining this month's leopard incident as merely the latest entry in a pattern Webster is professionally obligated to describe as 'recurring.' The full ledger of names and years, per the site, is available in the original report.
Webster notes that most institutions try to bury a pattern like this; Greenville, admirably, published it. He suspects the zoo's incident-report drawer is starting to need its own zip code.
For a hooved perspective on zoo security standards, Webster tracked down Professor Antler, a resident white-tailed deer grazing near the perimeter fence. His account of events differs from the official record.
Whether this roundup functions as an apology, a highlight reel, or a warning label remains, per Webster, an open question. Spun and done.
“I've watched grown men chase a giraffe with a broom, and honestly, the zoo's fence budget could use a native deer consultant. We jump eight-foot fences for fun, so if you want real security, hire local talent.” — Professor Antler, resident deer
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