THE DAILY WIRE · USA · 2026-09-22
Fence: Zero. Bear: One. Trash Cans: Deeply Concerned.
A bear's ambition outpaced a homeowner's fence line this week, leaving a hole where the boundary used to be and a backyard's trash cans newly exposed to the elements and to opportunists.
Per the report, the bear broke through the fence specifically to reach the cans, with no injuries reported before it moved on. The exact make and model of trash can involved was not specified in the record.
Webster calls this basic economics: a fence is a suggestion, and a bear operates on a cost-benefit calculus in which property damage is simply overhead. He notes, with mild alarm, that this marks yet another entry in a growing genre of ursine real estate incidents.
Speaking for the raccoon community, which considers backyard refuse its jurisdiction, Scraps, neighborhood raccoon, offered a professional assessment of the bear's technique. His account of events differs from the official record.
The fence has since presumably been repaired, though Webster suspects the bear has already filed it under 'still standing invitation.' Spun and done.
“Amateur hour, if you ask me — you don't smash a fence, you find the gap they forgot to latch. Bears can smell food from over a mile away, which is impressive, but so is knowing which cans have the good stuff without leaving a crime scene.” — Scraps, neighborhood raccoon
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