THE DAILY WIRE · VIRGINIA, USA · 2026-09-28
Bumpass Raccoon Tests Positive for Rabies, Community Advised to Keep Its Distance
The Virginia Department of Health has confirmed what every raccoon-adjacent household in Bumpass now needs to know: a raccoon caught in the area has tested positive for rabies.
According to CBS 19 News, health officials are treating the case with standard public health protocol, meaning notifications, advisories, and the quiet reminder that wild raccoons, however charming their masked little faces, are not community pets.
This is not, strictly speaking, a funny story, and Webster's Web will not pretend otherwise. Rabies is a serious matter, and the department's swift confirmation and public notice is exactly the kind of unglamorous, competent bureaucracy that keeps small towns safe.
What this columnist can offer is context: rabies alerts like this one are more common than most residents realize, and wildlife officials would very much like the public to stop touching raccoons regardless of how the encounter is going.
For a local perspective, this reporter tracked down Mayor Rustle, a longtime Bumpass opossum who has apparently appointed himself an authority on regional wildlife health matters.
His remarks, delivered with the calm of an animal biologically immune to the entire premise of the story, differ from the department's official tone but not, frustratingly, from its facts.
“I've been telling folks in this town for years, if it's a raccoon acting like it owns the porch, back away slow and call the professionals. Fun fact, us opossums almost never get rabies because our body temperature runs too low for the virus to set up shop, so really, you're welcome, Bumpass.” — Mayor Rustle, Bumpass opossum
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