THE DAILY WIRE · ONTARIO, CANADA · 2026-09-29
Highway Grate Claims Another Raccoon, Ontario Police Respond Accordingly
A raccoon became lodged in a highway grate in Ontario this week, prompting passing drivers to flag down police for what this reporter is officially classifying as a jurisdictional grey area, according to reporting from The Cool Down.
Officers on scene worked to free the animal, described as trapped but otherwise unharmed, before it returned to the surrounding area under its own power. No further raccoon commentary was made available at the scene, which is standard.
This publication maintains a running, unfortunately extensive file on raccoons versus municipal infrastructure, and the grate continues to win far too often for anyone's comfort. Someone in public works ought to take a meeting about this.
Harold the Overworked Beaver, a longtime canal-side resident with strong opinions on drainage design, was reached for comment on the broader engineering failure at play. His frustration with the grate spacing predates this particular incident by several years.
The raccoon, last seen, was grate-free and presumably wiser. The grate itself remains fully operational and, this reporter suspects, undefeated.
“Grates are basically raccoon jail down here, I've seen three of them wedged in this year alone. Somebody needs to redesign the drainage system with paws in mind, and I'd be happy to consult, professionally speaking.” — Harold the Overworked Beaver, canal-side beaver
Open this column on the Daily Wire →
Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive