THE DAILY WIRE · KING COUNTY, WASHINGTON, USA · 2026-10-03
Autumn Decor Reported Missing; Suspect Is Large and Furry
A pumpkin went missing in King County, Washington, and this time it was not teenagers. Local reporting identifies the culprit as a bear, operating, as bears do, without regard for property lines.
Details remain limited to the essential fact: pumpkin present, bear present, pumpkin absent. No injuries, structural damage, or seasonal-decor insurance claims have been reported.
This is, technically, the mildest form of bear-related property crime this desk has logged all season, which says less about the bear's restraint and more about the sheer volume of bear news currently on file.
For ground-level perspective, this reporter consulted Noodle, a King County raccoon with a long and candid history of opportunistic snacking. Their account of the bear's technique differs sharply from the human version.
No further gourds were harmed, as far as this desk can confirm. Residents are advised that bears, like reporters, will take what is left unattended.
“A whole pumpkin, no cart, no accomplice — respect. I once dragged a rotisserie chicken six blocks and got nothing but a photo in the group chat, and this bear gets a headline. Pumpkins are mostly water and seeds anyway, so honestly he worked hard for a light snack.” — Noodle, King County raccoon
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