THE DAILY WIRE · VIRGINIA, USA · 2026-10-03
The $3,000 Question: What Exactly Did the Trainer Train?
A Virginia man packed for a trip to Oregon, left his dog with a paid trainer, and returned to a phone call he is still describing as disturbing. This reporter has covered zoning disputes with less suspense.
According to the report, the man had paid roughly $3,000 for the arrangement before departure. The nature of the alarming call has not been fully detailed in available reporting, but the dollar figure alone suggests either an extraordinarily thorough curriculum or an extraordinarily confident invoice.
Dog training is, in fairness, a legitimate and sometimes expensive profession. Three thousand dollars, however, is the kind of number that invites questions a quick obedience demonstration cannot answer.
This reporter tracked down Pernell, a Virginia opossum who has observed the local pet-service economy from a crawlspace with excellent acoustics. Their account of events differs from the official record.
Full details of the man's experience, including what was actually said on that call, remain with the original outlet. Until then, this desk recommends a simple policy: get it in writing, and maybe get a second opinion from something with better instincts than a lanyard. Spun and done.
“I've seen that trainer's van parked outside the diner till 2 a.m., and no dog needs that much 'night training.' Humans will hand over three grand to anybody with a clipboard and a lanyard — meanwhile I raise eleven babies for free and nobody writes about that.” — Pernell, Virginia opossum
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