THE DAILY WIRE · COLORADO, USA · 2026-10-04
State of the State (Animal Division): Colorado Files Its Annual Report
Colorado Public Radio has done what this columnist considers long, overdue civic duty: compiling an entire year-end dossier of the state's strangest animal, insect, and fish news, because apparently one calendar year of Colorado wildlife behavior could no longer fit in a single news cycle.
The roundup, per CPR, spans categories well beyond the usual suspects — insects and fish both apparently earned their own subsections this year, which tells you everything about the scope of the backlog. This desk respects the paperwork.
Colorado has, by this reporter's count, produced enough bear break-ins, moose standoffs, and escaped exotic mammals in recent memory to justify its own beat reporter, and it appears CPR has finally made it official.
For ground-level perspective, this column reached Chatterbox, a prairie dog who has watched the whole production unfold from a burrow with, by her account, excellent sightlines. Her account of events differs from the official record in several key respects.
Whether next year's roundup will need its own appendix remains to be seen. This reporter is already clearing desk space. Spun and done.
“Every one of those stories, I called it from the mound first. Humans act surprised every single year, but we've had a sentinel system for this exact kind of nonsense since before your radio station existed.” — Chatterbox, prairie dog
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