THE DAILY WIRE · LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA · 2026-10-10
Fifty-Three Years of Civic Pride, Undone by One Raccoon's Bad Night
Los Angeles County's 53-year run without a single confirmed case of rabies in a raccoon has come to an end, and this reporter notes for the record that the animal responsible did not go quietly. Before animal control could intervene, the raccoon in question is reported to have exposed four people and one dog, effectively drafting five new characters into its own small, unglamorous footnote of local history.
According to the report, health officials confirmed the positive rabies test and moved swiftly to notify everyone involved, a process that in this business we call 'contact tracing' and in raccoon circles is presumably called 'burning every bridge in the neighborhood.' No further details on the raccoon's whereabouts, motive, or legal representation were available at press time.
Fifty-three years is a long time to keep a clean record in a city of ten million people and an unknown number of raccoons, and whoever kept that streak alive deserves better than a paragraph buried under the word 'rabies.' This reporter has long argued that municipal health departments do not get nearly enough credit for the disasters that don't happen, and today is a grim reminder of why.
For an eyewitness account, this reporter tracked down Benicio, a coyote who patrols the hills above Griffith Park and takes a professional interest in who's doing what to the local trash supply. His account of the raccoon's character differs sharply from the official record.
Health officials are urging residents to leave wildlife alone and keep pet vaccinations current, advice this reporter considers sound regardless of species. The streak is over, the paperwork has begun, and Los Angeles returns to the business of hoping the next 53 years go better. Spun and done.
“Fifty-three years clean and one raccoon blows it for everybody — typical. I've bitten worse and kept my mouth shut about it; folks just need to cap their trash cans and remember rabies spreads through saliva, not bad vibes.” — Benicio, Griffith Park coyote
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