THE DAILY WIRE · PENNSYLVANIA, USA · 2026-10-12
Local Bear Adds Pre-Hibernation Fine Dining to Its Route
A black bear in Pennsylvania has apparently decided that a local eatery now qualifies as a seasonal all-you-can-eat establishment, caught on camera this week doing what wildlife officials describe, in the driest possible terms, as 'bulking up before winter.'
Footage obtained and published by PennLive.com shows the bear making itself comfortable at the establishment, with no reported injuries and no word yet on whether the business plans to add a bear-proofing line item to its next budget meeting.
This reporter notes that 'bulking up before winter' is doing a great deal of heavy lifting as an official explanation, the same way 'market conditions' explains a bad quarter. A bear eating everything in sight ahead of a four-month nap is not news to anyone who has met a bear, but it is apparently news to this eatery.
Webster reached a local source, Gordy, a Punxsutawney-area groundhog with strong professional opinions on seasonal timing, who was willing to go on record about the bear's habits and the humans who keep enabling them.
Whether the restaurant presses charges, adds a surcharge, or simply starts leaving out a to-go box remains to be seen. Spun and done.
“That bear's been casing joints since spring, I've seen him myself. Folks leave the dumpster open and then act shocked — that's like leaving a pie on the windowsill. A black bear can smell food from over a mile off, so maybe start locking your lids, people.” — Gordy, Punxsutawney-area groundhog
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