THE DAILY WIRE · FLORIDA, USA · 2026-10-28
Florida Bear Allegedly Skips Snacks, Goes Straight For the Beer Fridge
A black bear in Florida reportedly bypassed an entire patio's worth of easier targets and went directly for the beer fridge, confirming what most Floridians already suspected about their local wildlife's priorities, according to Whiskey Riff.
The homeowner, upon discovering the raid, reportedly concluded the bear was simply thirsty, a theory this reporter finds more charitable than scientific. No further details on the brand of beer involved have been released, though sources close to the patio describe the damage as thorough.
Florida has logged a notable number of bear-related beverage incidents this year, and this outlet is beginning to suspect the state's bears have simply developed taste. Whether this constitutes burglary, trespassing, or just bad luck for the homeowner's beer budget remains a matter for the courts, or possibly just the homeowner's insurance adjuster.
Tater, a Florida gator who keeps a close eye on the neighborhood canal, says he watched the whole thing unfold and has thoughts on what really happened.
No arrests have been made, on account of the suspect being a bear with excellent instincts and zero fingerprints.
“I've seen that bear around, he's got no respect for property lines or domestic lagers. Humans leave those fridges right out on the porch like it's a vending machine, then wonder why the wildlife helps itself — a bear's nose can smell food from a mile off, so really, y'all asked for this.” — Tater, Florida gator
Open this column on the Daily Wire →
Zoos News — Real News. Real Animals. The stories are real; the columnist has eight eyes. Home · Wire archive