THE DAILY WIRE · CONNECTICUT · 2026-11-01
Pumpkin Security Breach Reported in Orange, Connecticut
A single unguarded pumpkin was consumed in full view of its owners this week, in an incident the family of Orange, Connecticut is calling, at minimum, upsetting to witness.
According to the New Haven Register, the family watched from a presumably safe distance as a black bear worked through the gourd on their property, with no apparent urgency and, this column assumes, no intention of apologizing. No injuries or property damage beyond the pumpkin itself have been reported.
The incident arrives during what local wildlife-watchers describe as prime bear-fattening season, when black bears across the Northeast are packing on calories ahead of winter denning, and a decorative pumpkin left curbside is, functionally, a free meal with a face painted on it.
Mabel, a wild turkey who patrols the same stretch of yard on a semi-professional basis, was located near the scene and offered her assessment of the family's pumpkin-placement strategy. Her read on the bear's motive differs very little from the official one, mostly because there isn't much mystery left to solve.
This column's advice to future pumpkin owners is the same advice it gives every October: a bear does not know the difference between seasonal decor and dinner, and neither should you expect it to learn.
“That pumpkin was sitting on an unguarded porch in plain daylight, which around here is basically an invitation. I've been eyeing that same patch since August, and black bears can smell a pie-ready squash from half a mile off — that part, at least, they got right.” — Mabel, local wild turkey
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